What Would Macy Do?
This post is intended to be a guide to help you make decisions about what you should do for your wedding. Buckle up, folks. This is a long one. There are so many little things that seem so minuscule in the grand scheme of the whole day, but sometimes these choices can make or break the guests and (most importantly) your experience. These are tips I have learned from my own experience working weddings and events that could have gone a bit smoother.
Should I have a seating chart?
Absolutely.
Now, if I’m being real, I did not want a seating chart at my own wedding. I thought it was stuffy and old-fashioned. But after coordinating a wedding without one, my mind was completely changed. Guests stood around and were quite confused as to where to sit. When they did decide to sit, guests that were not related to the couple sat at the tables nearest to them, the tables that should have been reserved for family members. This just made the entire evening awkward.
We all know that guests are going to move around regardless of where you seat them, but it is nice to give them a general idea of where they should be.
If you are having a plated dinner, it is even more important to have a seating chart to ensure the servers know where the food should be dropped off and that the guests get their desired food choice.
I coordinated a wedding once where the guests did not have a seating chart but did have nameplates. The nameplates had a color on the back to indicate the guest’s food choice to the servers. The servers went around and counted the number of each color at each table. Once the food started to come out, the guests had already moved and were upset that they did not have their correct food choice and did not know their original seat. This became a complete mess. Luckily, thanks to some superhero wedding staff, it all worked out, and everyone was happy in the end. The entire situation could have been avoided with a seating chart.
Should I have a Planner?
If you are someone that is organized and has the time needed to plan all aspects of your wedding yourself, by all means, go for it! But if you have a full-time job and don’t have a lot of time, then you should probably consider getting help from a planner.
Wedding planners usually offer several packages with varying levels of support to fit the needs of each couple. An example of these packages here.
Should I have a coordinator?
I don’t know about you, but I can’t be in two places at once. How are you supposed to be getting married and managing everyone at the same time? Keep the day about you and your fiancé! Even if you don’t have a planner, you need a coordinator. Coordinators are the only way to get all of your vendors on the same page and on time without having to do the work yourself or put stress on one of your friends and family when you should all be enjoying the day.
I have spoken with photographers that have not been able to do their jobs properly or to the fullest extent because their clients did not have a coordinator. In one instance, the other vendors did not know where to be, the timeline was off by far, and the bride was having to usher people around instead of getting her portraits done. The photographer essentially had to be the coordinator as well, and it took away from her opportunity to capture the precious moments of the day.
Should I book a DJ or Band?
There are benefits to both! With a band, you get a unique sound that is always super fun, but with a DJ, you could play literally any song you or your guests want. Either choice is acceptable, but you have to make sure that the one you choose is fun and will keep your guests out on the dancefloor all evening.
Do. Your. Research.
A bad DJ or Band can make or break the day. Things like failing to read a room or inappropriate music are vibe ruin-ers. Could you imagine a monotone DJ? Or a rhythmless band? Me neither, but make sure you do everything you can never to encounter them.
Should we get married in a Civil Union or Religious Ceremony?
If you only take away one thing from this answer should be this:
If your heart isn’t fully in it, don’t do it.
If you’re doing a full Catholic Mass to appease your parents, don’t. If your heart is not fully in it, you won’t enjoy it, and it will not mean anything. The same goes for the size of your wedding. If you don’t want your Aunt’s Cousin’s Daughter twice removed at your wedding, don’t invite them. If you want to elope to save money for the honeymoon, do it! In the end, you are getting married to the person you love regardless. If you want a huge wedding with everyone in town and an extravagant religious ceremony, you go, girl. The point is, to do what makes you and your partner feel special.
Should we serve a Plated or Buffet dinner?
My answer will always be a buffet. This answer comes from not only the ease of serving but also the value of the meal. Buffets are usually cheaper because there is no additional labor cost. You also tend to get more food with a stationed buffet rather than the plated served dinners where the servings are carefully measured out for one individual. It is much harder to determine how much of each choice the guests are going to eat, so to avoid running low on items, catering companies will make more, to begin with. With buffets, you also completely steer clear of the seating chart food fiasco we discussed earlier, and you do not have to keep track of guest food choices during RSVPs.
Now that does not mean I don’t appreciate a well-done plated dinner. I for sure love them, but from a value standpoint, I choose buffet every time.
Should we hire a Professional Photographer, Videographer, or both?
This is one of the most important opinions in this post. I feel very strongly about this point because of our experience with our first set of photographers. See the previous post describing our experience here.
Professional photographers are a MUST.
The photos of your wedding day are keepsakes that will be displayed around your life as a reminder of your love for years and years to come. They should take priority. No one is trained like a photographer to capture every precious moment, and you cannot expect your family and friends to take the quality pictures you would see from one. Your family and friends should be focused on enjoying the day as well and not be put to work.
Side note- One of my best friends is a really accomplished and talented photographer, and I had to choose between having her photograph our wedding or being in it. I obviously chose the latter, but the decision was quite difficult because I trusted her to do a great job and loved her work.
In my opinion, wedding videos are nice, but if you’re trying to figure out what to cut if you don’t have any wiggle in the budget, the videographer should be your choice. I love wedding videos, don’t get me wrong, but we did not get one done, and I am very content living without one. We got the photography package that included some very special keepsakes (a large album and canvas) that I put to use more often than watching a video.
Should I have my ceremony in my backyard?
No. This idea comes with three misconceptions:
It will be easy.
It will save me money.
I will feel more comfortable in my own home.
The problem with backyard weddings is the simple fact that it is not meant to be a wedding venue. This is where the costs start to skyrocket. You have to RENT EVERYTHING. When I say everything, I literally mean everything. Depending on your guest count, you might even have to rent porta-potties… Vendors may even charge an extra fee to work out of a facility that is not equipped with the tools they need. You will most likely be setting up and taking down your wedding as well because you will not have venue staff to assist. Lastly, comfort declines dramatically when you have 100 people crammed into a backyard or home on one of the most important (stressful) days of your life.
Is it worth it to make DIY decorations?
Let me just start off by saying I have NO problems with DIY Brides. I am a DIY queen myself in my own home. That being said, though, I am not an advocate for DIY weddings. Sure, here and there, making cute things like favors and signs are fine, but when it comes to the big things like centerpieces and so on, I say leave it up to the professionals. Sometimes brides inadvertently spend more on supplies to make the decorations than what they would have when asking a professional in the first place. Having the pressure of making things for your day go perfectly is a lot of stress that no bride needs on or close to her wedding day. Something else to have you have to worry about is getting rid of said DIY elements after the day of!
An easy solution would be to rent certain elements of your wedding! You don’t have to pay full price, you don’t have to deal with the stress of having to make it, and you don’t have to worry about what to do once the day is done.
If you are going to do DIY decorating, keep careful track of the cost and stress. Look into professionals for their pricing and see if it is even worth it to do it yourself.
Thank you for sticking through this doozy of a post, guys.
With Love,
Macy
